Tal Kramer
Posted on | March 9, 2009 | No Comments
Former Executive Director of Association of Rape Crisis Centers in Israel
Working with women who have been raped or sexually abused, you must listen to hear their particular needs, desires, and voices. They are so varied and so different from each other. Everyone reacts differently in the world of sexual abuse, and each person has a different way of coping.
Often a woman who has experienced sexual abuse in the past tends to be aggressive as a way of protecting herself. We have to loosen our boundaries and try to accept different kinds of behavior and different kinds of women.
How does courage enter into your work?
Courage is speaking our truth. The Association of Rape Crisis Centers in Israel gets between 30,000 and 35,000 calls each year on their hotlines. The statistics in Israel are similar to those in the United States. One of every three women will be sexually abused during her lifetime, and one in seven men will be abused. In early childhood, there are no differences between girls and boys, they are equally vulnerable to sexual abuse. After 12 years of age, there is a difference, and many cases are incest cases. One of every six or seven girls and one of every ten boys will be abused by their father, big brother, or uncle.
Courage is also to break through the ring of secrecy, silence, and denial that surrounds victims. Sexual abuse is the only crime in which the victim blames herself and society often blames her as well. Why did you dress that way? Why did you walk that way? Why did you go to his house on the first date? It takes courage to break through that ring and tell the secret, to let someone in on the secret so that not everything rests on your shoulders, so you can begin a process of rehabilitation.
Your work must take daily fortitude.
People don’t work for this organization for very long periods of time. At some stage, it becomes very burdensome emotionally, dealing all the time with sexual abuse and rape and everything related to them. So, supervision and guidance is provided to all the workers. Without that, it would be very difficult to manage. In this work you quickly reach the extremities—there are great successes and great failures. The middle, the grey area, gets submerged.
What accomplishment are you the proudest of?
The thing I’m proudest of is the family I established—my children and my husband. I am prouder of that than I am of all the work and all the successes.
Does the Association work with Arab women?
Certainly. It doesn’t overlook any sector of the population. At the center in Nazareth all the women working in the call center are Arab and talk with the callers in Arabic. They coordinate requests for assistance from throughout the country. There are many examples of cooperation with the Arab community.
You were born and raised in Jerusalem. What are some of the changes that you’ve seen?
Many changes have taken place in Jerusalem. The Jerusalem where I grew up is not the Jerusalem of today. There’s a lot of nostalgia for the Jerusalem that once was. The population is also different. Today, a lot of young couples with children leave Jerusalem because it is financially impossible for them to live here. Jerusalem has become a place for wealthy people only, foreign residents who buy houses and apartments and come to live here maybe two weeks out of the year. It’s become a ghost town with a lot of houses that unoccupied most of the year
Do you believe peace is possible here?
To raise children in this country, particularly boys, you have to believe peace is an option. There are periods when you’re more optimistic and periods when you’re less optimistic. But there is something naïve that makes you believe that peace is possible.
The Association of Rape Crisis Centers is the umbrella organization for nine centers that provide support for victims of sexual violence. Their 24-hour hotlines include help for Arab, Russian, and Ethiopian women in their first language. The association advocates for legislative change and works to raise awareness in Israeli society, the workplace, and the media. Kramer recently left her position to be with her family and new baby.
