Khawla Dawoud Ahmad Alazraq
Posted on | December 1, 2008 | No Comments
Director of Psycho-Social Counseling Women’s Center
The occupation puts immense pressure on women. The men used to earn incomes by working in Israel, now they cannot go to Israel. They are frustrated, cannot feed their kids, and do not feel like real fathers who can support their families. This expresses itself in violence against women and children.
Women have become the fathers and mothers in their families. The statistics don’t accurately reflect the number of working women in Palestinian societies. A woman is forced to work outside the home, in factories, cleaning. Then come home, do chores, help the kids, and be patient with a nervous husband who feels she is stronger than he is. They don’t get the opportunity to finish their education, and the menial work that’s available to them doesn’t build towards their or their family’s future.
You help women help themselves and each other.
Women come here because of domestic violence, financial issues, psychological problems from sexual abuse or other abuse. We provide a safe place where women find trust, share experiences, and give each other support unconditionally. Women build bridges and find power in themselves. When I talk with men about positive change, they take the perspective of how it can help them. They tend to be selfish.
Our culture includes many positive things. However, it does not give the same status to women as to men. We work to change the community attitude but the occupation puts major roadblocks in our path. We must have our independent state to build a democratic society that gives equal value to women as to men.
Tell us about your family and background.
I grew up in a big family; we are 11 siblings in total. My family was very poor, and we used to live in the refugee camp. All of us used to work to feed ourselves. Through it all, I managed to continue my education. Life in a refugee camp is very hard; it pushes us to be active. Living in a camp, you begin to care about justice, freedom, and relationships between people. You question why you are living in such destitute circumstances when others have far easier lives.
My father is a great man because he encouraged all of us to get educated. He used to tell us, “We are refugees. We have no land and no stable source of income, so you must gain education and learn to be self-sufficient.” This encouraged my siblings and me to become strong and independent.
How did you become strong?
I’ve gone through situations not a lot of women could have lived through. Living in a camp, you care about justice and freedom. I had a lot of anger as a child, and was arrested when I threw stones at soldiers. At 15, I didn’t know the complexities of the conflict, I just needed to change the life I was so unhappy with.
When I was 18 and active in political work in the university, the security forces came at night. They demolished our house, and took me to prison. My family had to live in a tent for ten months. I felt so guilty I didn’t want them visit me. I was in prison in Ramla from 1982 to 1985.
Now I have a broader understanding of the Israeli society, and I accept people not based on if they are Israeli or Palestinian. Some Palestinians I can’t live with. I can’t live under the Hamas government, they don’t give me my rights as a woman.
What if your children threw stones?
I wouldn’t encourage them, even though the camp environment pushes people to do crazy things. My 19-year-old son studies law in Al-Quds University, and a few months ago soldiers came to the camp and took him. It made me crazy, I know what prison means. Thank God, he returned after three hours. The three years I was in prison and nine years my husband was in prison caused my heart less pain than my son’s three hours.
What does a woman do when she is inside prison for 3 years?
I read a lot of books and had daily discussions with the other women inside the prison. It was a very structured life. For each hour, there was something to do. I educated the other prisoners who didn’t know how to read or write. I taught them how to read and write.
What is love?
Love means to accept all people, to have a big heart to love all of humanity. Everything affects me because I love everyone. When I see a documentary about conditions in El Salvador or Somalia, I feel as if this is my problem, as if this is happening to me. No one can give himself or herself the right to hate, kill, or occupy others under the umbrella of democracy or justice.
Why do you think women will be the ones to bring peace?
Women understand each other. They can build bridges between themselves. When I talk to men about a positive change, they ask how it can help them or their position. Women support women unconditionally. I’ve seen dialogue between women change lives.
If Palestinian and Israeli women working for peace have the spirit and the deep belief in them to bring change to this area, they will build a powerful movement. We need to be ones to bring change, because women are suffering the most from this conflict.
Al-Azraq has been a social activist since her student years at Bethlehem University as a member of Fatah Youth Movement. She coordinates training programs for the East Jerusalem YMCA and is Director-Supervisor of PSCCW, which is a member of the Association of Women’s Committees for Social Work active through the West Bank and Gaza. Al-Azraq lives with her family where she was raised, Aida refugee camp, Bethlehem.
